WhiteEightBall
09-06-2009, 04:05 PM
I should start replying to craigslist ad's like this guy.
http://www.dontevenreply.com/index.php
Has classics like cement couch
Original Add:
FREE COUCH! i have a free plaid couch on the curb outside my house. the address is 39 ******* rd come and get it!
From Mike Anderson to **********@*******.org
Hey. I am tired of driving down ******* and seeing your ugly couch. It is ruining the neighborhood. What the hell were you thinking when you bought that? Nobody is going to want that thing! It better not be there when I drive past tomorrow.
From ************@gmail.com to Me
if you dont like it why dont u come and fuckin get it. tough shit if u dont like seeing it. its only been out there 1 day!
From Mike Anderson to ************@gmail.com
One day too many. I don't want your shitty couch. Maybe I would if I was a Scottish guy living in the 70's, but I'm not. That couch looks like what would happen if a parrot and a rhino fucked and had a freak baby, and then that baby grew up and then took a shit on your curb. Why don't you pay someone to haul that piece of shit away?
From ************@gmail.com to Me
fuck you buddy! tough shit. drive a different way
From Mike Anderson to ************@gmail.com
I like going that way because it is scenic. Well, at least it was until you put that pile of shit out there. If it is stil there tomorrow, I am going to come back during the night and cement it to your driveway.
From ************@gmail.com to Me
COME AND TRY IT MOTHERFUCKER ILL BE WAITING
Also Hybrids Suck
Original ad:
if anyone wants a ride from baltimore to nyc tomorow let me know! i am driving up there sometime tomorow afternoon and would be glad to help someone out if they want to throw up some money for gas. i drive a hybrid, so i wont need much!
From Mike Partlow to *************@*********.org
Hello,
I do need a ride to New York tomorrow. That would be great. My only concern is the fact that you drive a hybrid car. I don't want to give people the idea that I care about the environment. Do you have another, more manly car that we could ride up in? I really don't want to be seen in a hybrid. I'll gladly compensate you for gas.
Mike
From christine ********* to Me
no all i have is my hybrid. what is the big deal, who cares what people think? u should be glad to help the enviroment!
From Mike Partlow to christine **********
I'm sorry Christine but it isn't the 60's anymore. People aren't a bunch of earth-saving hippies that run around and hug trees anymore. Does your car have tinted windows? I really don't want to be seen riding in that bitch-mobile. My only request is that you stop by a lake somewhere so I can dump a can of motor oil in it, to make up for all of the earth that your car will be saving. Don't worry, I'll pay for the motor oil.
Mike
From christine ********* to Me
wtf is wrong with u! im not giving u a ride ur a jerk!!!
From Mike Partlow to christine **********
Well I am sorry you won't have the privilege of riding with me. Fortunately for me, I found a better, more badass ride to NYC. I'll be sure to wave at your crappy little hybrid as we pass you in our F-350, spraying cans of aerosol out the window and throwing empty six-pack holders into the sea.
Mike
http://www.dontevenreply.com/index.php
Has classics like cement couch
Original Add:
FREE COUCH! i have a free plaid couch on the curb outside my house. the address is 39 ******* rd come and get it!
From Mike Anderson to **********@*******.org
Hey. I am tired of driving down ******* and seeing your ugly couch. It is ruining the neighborhood. What the hell were you thinking when you bought that? Nobody is going to want that thing! It better not be there when I drive past tomorrow.
From ************@gmail.com to Me
if you dont like it why dont u come and fuckin get it. tough shit if u dont like seeing it. its only been out there 1 day!
From Mike Anderson to ************@gmail.com
One day too many. I don't want your shitty couch. Maybe I would if I was a Scottish guy living in the 70's, but I'm not. That couch looks like what would happen if a parrot and a rhino fucked and had a freak baby, and then that baby grew up and then took a shit on your curb. Why don't you pay someone to haul that piece of shit away?
From ************@gmail.com to Me
fuck you buddy! tough shit. drive a different way
From Mike Anderson to ************@gmail.com
I like going that way because it is scenic. Well, at least it was until you put that pile of shit out there. If it is stil there tomorrow, I am going to come back during the night and cement it to your driveway.
From ************@gmail.com to Me
COME AND TRY IT MOTHERFUCKER ILL BE WAITING
Also Hybrids Suck
Original ad:
if anyone wants a ride from baltimore to nyc tomorow let me know! i am driving up there sometime tomorow afternoon and would be glad to help someone out if they want to throw up some money for gas. i drive a hybrid, so i wont need much!
From Mike Partlow to *************@*********.org
Hello,
I do need a ride to New York tomorrow. That would be great. My only concern is the fact that you drive a hybrid car. I don't want to give people the idea that I care about the environment. Do you have another, more manly car that we could ride up in? I really don't want to be seen in a hybrid. I'll gladly compensate you for gas.
Mike
From christine ********* to Me
no all i have is my hybrid. what is the big deal, who cares what people think? u should be glad to help the enviroment!
From Mike Partlow to christine **********
I'm sorry Christine but it isn't the 60's anymore. People aren't a bunch of earth-saving hippies that run around and hug trees anymore. Does your car have tinted windows? I really don't want to be seen riding in that bitch-mobile. My only request is that you stop by a lake somewhere so I can dump a can of motor oil in it, to make up for all of the earth that your car will be saving. Don't worry, I'll pay for the motor oil.
Mike
From christine ********* to Me
wtf is wrong with u! im not giving u a ride ur a jerk!!!
From Mike Partlow to christine **********
Well I am sorry you won't have the privilege of riding with me. Fortunately for me, I found a better, more badass ride to NYC. I'll be sure to wave at your crappy little hybrid as we pass you in our F-350, spraying cans of aerosol out the window and throwing empty six-pack holders into the sea.
Mike